They found me

No, I have not yet been arrested by the soviets for stealing the socialist club poster (altho that would be ironic. "I thought communism was about sharing, comrade") I have, however, been discovered by the expat community through the local anglican church (trust the anglicans). I was invited to coffee at the home of a south african couple, which was beautiful and shockingly normal. They were very nice and filled me in on the doings of the other expats at the church, including the director of the city hospital (who, coincidentally, is also a character in McCall Smith's no. 1 ladies detective agency and who also doubles as a priest at the church). I may just talk to him next sunday about volunteering since the normal channels do not appear to be working. He is also, apparently, a direct descendent of David Lingston's inlaws' (small country). When I returned from church and told my roommate where I had been, she was surprised that I attended church and apparently took it as a green light because we have been listening to christian rock ever since. While I am not really opposed to the genre, it is getting a little repetitive. Speaking of my roommate, I walked into the room yesterday and she had no clothes on. Apparently that is totally culturally acceptable here and I was warned, but having a casual chat with a roommate sans clothing is still odd for me (maybe it is just a Utah thing).

In other news, someone has been putting up new posters in the campaign against HIV on campus. While I support the cause, I feel that this campaign might be misguided and the publicist should be fired. I have included a shot of one of the posters below, Whoever decided that a giant bunny mascot should be the vanguard of abstinence should probably not be allowed to make any more decisions.

In still other news, we went to the national trade fair yesterday and got to explore genuine motswana-made crafts. There were also local businesses, governement agencies, and embassies represented (of course not ours, we are not hospitable. The japanese came out looking really great because they taught you origami and how to use chopsticks at their booth. Even Iran had an embassy booth; fail USA). One booth was selling, ....? Giant sombreros? wall hangings? I don't know, but perhaps it is big and inconvenient enough, katherine? Lol. I have to write a paper on conflict in the DRC (yes, that is the exact assignment. Something that people write books on is supposed to be a thesis-driven 8 pg paper, wtf) so see you on the flip side, homeslice!

Things that define sarah... and how those things change in Botswana

Don't be alarmed, I did not hook up with a stranger, do drugs, or climb a lemon tree and steal university property (okay I might have participated in that last one). I do, however, have a few thoughts.

Some people may have suspected that I have a fondness for artificial sweeteners. Well, it turns out, a set of twenty single-serving splenda packets costs the equivalent of 8 US dollars. For those of you who know how much splenda I consume on a daily basis in my 3 mugs each day, I invite you to do the math. I have, therefore, switched to standard sugar in my tea so if I return to the states with diabetes then I encourage you to entirely blame the artificial sweetener companies and their decision to jack prices in third-world countries.

I have also been known to accidentally embrace too many leadership opportunities. NO MORE! I went to an RA meeting last night in which the RA invited different organizations on campus to speak to her 120 residents (of whom 30 came). At this meeting, they were looking for floor representatives to liason with each of these organizations and the RA. Now, as much as I like liasons, I kept quiet as I have only been on this continent for a month. Unfortunately, I was the only one from my hall there and we had signed in with our names and room numbers when we arrived at the meeting. The RA then informed me that i was the default representative; and you know what I did? for the first time in my life, I looked that opportunity for leadership in the eye and I flatly said "No!" (applause is appropriate now) In other highlights of the meeting, a born-again christian speaking on character building flat out told us that if we watch pornography our hair will fall out and we will go blind. Honest to God! I nearly died not responding or rolling on the floor laughing.

In a similarish vein, I have been propositioned by a lab-coat clad student in parasitology. This is the same guy who told me his name was honey and is now asking my friends to put in a good word for him. Since we were looking at parasites all afternoon (awesome) I expressed my feelings through the following art piece:

I have to run now, I will update the blog with more stories soon!

Dr. Strangeworm; or, how I learned to stop worrying and love giardia

(Alex, I blatantly ripped off your email title :)
You may recall me mentioning that one person lost their passport during a night of carousing. Today, that girl went to the american embassy in order to get a replacement and we were all reminded of why americans are so popular abroad (If you hear a dripping sound, that is sarcasm). First, she showed up a the embassy with Batsi, our program director, who they would not let within the gate because he was not an american citizen. They then looked at hayley, who told them she lost her passport, and they then asked her if she was, in fact, an american. (Hayley is a very tan, blonde, blue-eyed girl from oklahoma with a distinctly southern twang) she regretted not saying, "no, but the libyan embassy turned me away." They eventually escorted her through three security checkpoints which all involved bag searches at which point she ran into the marine who had been buying her drinks the night she lost her passport; he nearly bust a gut laughing when he heard what had happened. (in the end she got a new passport).
In other news, I decided to risk giardia and I ventured outside of the school today to buy lunch from the women on the street. They have vegetables, tastier food, and a lot more to choose from for the exact same price as lunch at the cafeteria. Unfortunately I forgot that I had bought cellphone airtime earlier to when I arrived I had 12 pula and was 3 pula short after I had already filled my plate. I had to run back to my dorm, get my wallet, and run back (which took 45 minutes because the campus is so huge) all for the equivalent of 38 cents. FML I am currently eating, however, paleche (porridge), morogo (stewed greens), beet root, and some unidentifiable orange veggie with chili powder. I'll keep you posted if I pick up any interesting new life forms in my gut.

Speaking of Kleptomania

*News update: before I say anything else, I am over my cold and I GOT A HOT SHOWER!!!!!!!! I have been floating on a metaphorical cloud produced by the tangible steam of my shower all day and everything is right with the world*
So I am pretty sure that I previously mentioned the feud with the cleaning ladies in which my friend is currently engaged. If not, quick recap: she wouldn't leave her room so they could wax the floor at 8am, we think that they turned off her electricity somehow, she had to relocate our fridge and left a scratch on the waxed floor. I have episode 2: we have strong reason to expect that the cleaning staff is stealing her food. Her peanut butter has been scraped clean and all of her cookies were eaten. I tend to agree they are responsible because her roommate is another exchange student who has shown no klepto tendencies and I am almost positive that these are the women who took my toilet paper as they are the only ones with a key. My friend is currently planning to hide a mouse trap in her next box of cookies. This is escalating a little fast. In other cleaning-lady escapades, every morning when my other friend is charging her computer and emailing family, the cleaning lady lets herself into this girl's room, unplugs the girl's charger and promptly plugs in her own phone to charge with little or no explanation. luckily, we are not too afraid of making them mad because, other than waxing the floor, they do not seem to be performing any perceivable function in the dorm. They are characters, but very willing to practice setswana with exchange students while on their tea break.
In other klepto news, last night a group of international students went out to an expat bar and returned at 5am sans 4 phones, a camera, and a US passport. Bummer in the extreme, but probably due to "poor (or inebriated) decisions." I, fortunately, declined taking part in the carousing and instead hung out in the hopkins' style (shooting the breeze with friends for 4 hours after stopping by for some tea). Tomorrow I am getting up at an (ironically) ungodly hour to go to a local anglican church...details to come.

Sarah's continued tales of kleptomania

You may recall that I mentioned attempting to steal a socialist club poster a few days ago. Well the whole story is that I really creeped out a local girl while doing so. She saw me undoing the tape, looked at me for a second, then quickly started walking away. I had dropped the tape the second she saw me and continued on my way to class, coincidentally walking right next to her for some time. She kept darting glances at me so I finally turned to her and said "yes, I was trying to steal the poster" I then tried to really quickly explain why I was doing so, and she quickly said "it's okay with me if you take it, I don't care" and walked faster. I am quite sure she thinks I am crazy and was trying to escape my ranting.
In keeping with the grand colonial tradition of my european cousins, I also went on a kleptomania spree with other exchange students around campus. First, in the dead of night, three of us went to the lemon tree grove on campus (someone please inform alex that while lemons grow in Gaborone, they still do not grow in Denver). We proceeded to steal two of the most delicious lemons I have ever smelled or eaten (I actually straight ate it, it was that good) By "we stole" I mean my friend aubri climbed the tree while I ran around the base of it with my arms up, pretending I could have caught her if she had fallen. I also absconded with some silverware from the refectory since the last set of spoons that I bought had razor-sharp edges that cut open my mouth when I tried to eat oatmeal (what where the manufacturers on?). Unfortunately, the refectory has servers who come and clear your plates and when my friend hayley handed one man her plate, knife, and fork he said, "could I have my other knife too please?" Awkward.....
So yeah, there could be warrants out for us in gaborone, luckily the witnesses think all white people look alike. (and apparently read the bible at breakfast as one waiter told me after assuming that my evolution text book was about jesus).

The shocking, predictable, and shockingly predictable

Shocking: Things that should be in Utah and Spokane but definitely aren't.
1. Dog or goat? you decide....
2. Apparently don't do love either! (this is on the outside of every dorm building)
3. Stanley, an international student from Malawi, strutting his stuff

4. Definitely an awesome addition to every floor of every building on campus (I wonder what spitzer would say?)

5. Hard to see but yes, there is a framed picture of Obama inside of Mafia Soul Clothing

The predictable (and not so predictable):
1. There is a socialist club on campus (go figure) which they advertise for with a very catchy poster that says "Do you like Che Guevara T-shirts? Do you like Soviet jeans? To you hate capitalism and want the working class to rise up? come to the socialist club meeting!" I at first thought it was a social club, hence I read the poster, but it was in fact advertising the revolution. I tried to steal a poster but someone caught me in the act and it was really awkward. I was going to attend a meeting but they forgot to include a location on the poster....communism fails again.

2. The angry african politics professor gave a monologue about /ode to AK47s and their role in "liberating the continent" my eyes got so big they nearly fell out of my head. Wonder if he knows the socialist club?

The shockingly predictable: A mormon missionary from utah has been going around my dorm, handing out pamphlets and inviting people to church; I politely declined but said hello.

Trifles

Since the last three posts were very classic and touristy, I feel the need to update the blog with a few "sarah stories."
First, in Setswana yesterday our teacher was trying to define a word as an example of a certain noun class and described, "A woman who sleeps with a lot of men, what do you call her in English?" I naturally yelled "a strumpet!" and everybody stared at me. The professor, who takes pride in her english, looked at me and then asked me to spell it so she would remember it in the future. I obliged her and then added tart, lightskirt, harlot, and woman of negotiable affections to the list too.
Second, I have a roommate who is a fourth-year student name mickey (really). I guess I have a second roommate too because there was a third person sleeping in our room last night....I have yet to acertain their identity...details to come. I was slightly terrified to be getting an assigned roommate (since that went so well last time) but she seemed nice (until she turned on her stereo at 6:15am, we will have to talk). I am positive about it, however.
Lastly, I am ill and may need to visit the student clinic (do not worry, it is not at all serious). I figure a third-world government-run free student clinic has to be better than Gonzaga's, but I am wary. I am hoping for a simple strept test but I was advised that it could take a few weeks. By then I will be either dead or cured so it may be faster to grow my own penicillin in the closet. I'll keep you updated if a limb falls off. :)

"Cultural Excursion" Part III

On sunday we went on a game drive and saw all of the local animals- including tamed elephants imported from south africa and tamed cheetahs from zambia. Still awesome and lots of fun. I have never heard so many cameras simultaneously click in my life!

So there is apparently a place in south africa where one can ride ostriches! new life mission, details to come.
Termite mound; fun factoid: they always tilt towards the west since they are built at night and as the sun rises, the east side is heated and expands slightly.

Every single international student saw the warthog and yelled "pumba!"

Best business model ever: they gave us all unlimited free mimosas before the game drive (I guess so if we didn't see any animals then we wouldn't be that upset)

"Cultural; Excursion" Part II

I have class in twenty minutes so I will mostly just post pics now and write about it later!
First: the cheif, a good-natured old man who instantly picked five girls from our group and declared them his wives (playing off the stereotype of course) Here is one of the Germans he grabbed, Lol. The "village" he oversaw and had the final word in had 40,000 people living in it. I think "village" is just used for historical reasonsThis building is 200+ yrs old and was the cheif's house, they are in the process of remodeling

"Cultural Excursion" part I

Hey y'all, so I got back from our "cultural excursion weekend" and it was awesome! We saw 2000+ yr old rock paintings, the livingston tree (under which David Livingston taught, ran a clinic, and parlayed with chiefs), a kgotla (traditional court), traditional dancing, and a game drive! The food was fantastic, the lodging was way better than the dorms and the entire weekend cost me approximately $30 (I love the exchange rate). I cannot put all of the pics in one post so I shall share in three parts.

Part I: Livingston tree and rock paintings
Here is a quick shot of the tree (hard to capture with only photos)
Livingston tree, HUGEFrom left: me, mark, aubri, angene, jenny (all americans in my program, all awesome)

This cave is where a pregnant wife of a very important cheif hid for 4 weeks during the boer war.

The giraffes, my favorite

The lonely roll of toilet paper

It occured to me today that the serious drawback to a blog versus telling stories when I get home is that stories that will be really funny later down the line are not at all funny to me right now. Nevertheless, I suspect that others may enjoy my scrapes.
I took my third cold shower in a row tonight...in the dark. The light in our bathroom is still very much broken, as is apparently the hot water heater. I could kill for a hot shower right now, literally kill somebody. I mean seriously, if you want somebody dead right now then find a way to get me hot water. Fortunately, I suppose, homicide would still not get me a hot shower so I won't need a lawyer yet.
In a similar theme, I have a curious case of a lonely roll of toilet paper. As I have previously mentioned, one must bring one's own toilet paper to a public bathroom on campus. Dorm residents, however, are given 4 rolls a month. I also bought four rolls, not knowing this fact. So I started with eight rolls and I looked at my shelf today and realized that, two weeks into the month, I am left with one very lonely roll. Now, I have not finished any single roll of toilet paper, and while I might be forgetful, I do not think I have lost (read: left in the bathroom and never found again) more than three or four rolls in the last two weeks. This leaves me with a missing 4-5 rolls of toilet paper. I have literally no idea where they could have gone. Who the hell would steal it? Maybe I should leave more lucrative objects next to the toilet paper in order to deter would-be paper thieves? I am puzzled and would appreciate suggestions.
In a not similar vein, I have begun daily tae-kwon-do lessons for a few other exchange students in the courtyard by our dorm. I enjoy the exercise and it is a good way to meet locals (mainly because they want to know what the hell we are doing) What is odd is that when a friend mentions to a curious UB student that I have a blackbelt, hence the lessons, they always step away and say, "Oh! so you could kill me right now?" (not unless it'd get me a hot shower, buddy). I don't know why people think a blackbelt would make me more volatile and prone to hurt bystanders, but I have gotten this reaction 7 times and counting. It is nice to know, however, that I am building an international reputation for unpredictable violence.
Alright, that is the end of my ranting about the creature comforts. Tomorrow we visit immigration (woohoo! wild times!) and I have my first physiology lab.... until then, sala sentle!

Dumelang!

Hey y'all, just a quick update- as I write this my wwindow is being attacked by a feral pigeon and I think I might need to show it the "business side" of my hand soon (as tyler would put it). I have discovered something amazing here, they are called fatcakes, and they are basically giant beignets for only 16 US cents. I am going to argue possible highest number of calories for dollar spent in the entire world. Luckily they are a twenty-minute walk away so I won't have to buy a second plane ticket back to the US come december. In other news, we are going on a game drive this weekend as well as seeing tens of thousands of years old rock paintings in a village outside of Gaborone. I am stoked! I hope to tame a giraffe, name it gerald, and possibly ride it back to gaborone. Hopefully I will not have to fight off too many koala bears with my pocket knife on the way. I will, however, have lots of pictures from the trip! Untill then, keep it real home-skillets (again, if anyone asks, we really say that in the states)

Sarah Dupont and the search for the secret breakfast

First a miscellaneous anecdote: I went to breakfast this morning somewhat late and the cashier looked at me, looked in the kitchen, and said "sorry, but we only have egg, toast, marmalade, and tea today." I was somewhat confused because this is the exact same thing they have had every single morning in the cafeteria (which I am fine with and only costs 80 cents or so). It did start a nagging doubt however: is there some secret breakfast which I do not know about? Do I need to say the password? I will keep you updated.
I think that classes are finally starting (most of the teachers are showing up). We had our first real lecture in the class "Africa in world politics" and I have concluded that the teacher is a very angry man. Granted, he was lecturing on slavery and colonialism, which really f****d this continent for 600 years, but by the end of the class I felt like I should be flagellating myself for the sins of my forefathers. I think if I turned in my first paper written with my "of European descent" blood straight from an opened vein I might get an A. Interesting man, unfortunately does not understand what saying "quote un-quote" (yes I got the irony of that last punctuation) before a sentence actually means; he keeps using it inappropriately....altho he could just be really sarcastic?
My Botswana politics class is pretty awesome. Since I did not want to take the class I am really glad about this, blessing in disguise I guess. I am also in Setswana, which I am loving beyond reason (altho I keep accidentally breaking into spanish). The two bio classes- comparative physiology and parasitology- should be good. (I have a major advantage currently in comparative physiology as she is discussing marine life-forms and I am probably the only one in the class who has seen the ocean and knows what a stingray is).
The real surprise is the CIEE botswana class. I thought this was going to be like an honors colloquium- you know, share your feelings about gender roles in the country- but it is actually an intense course. We have written assignments (like 8 pg papers), we are going to visit a diamond mine, we have to do a scavenger hunt around the city, we have to volunteer in the city, we are visiting traditional courts and writing about it, and we have to interview people and give a presentation on modern botswana- mostly in Setswana! I found this all out today and I am a little overwhelmed. I am really hoping that I can get credit for this stuff at GU.... Clancy?
Overall things are going well. I am still stared-at constantly and guys keep trying to get invitations back to a "hot white girl's" room but I am trucking along... altho it has been ten days and I have still not found vegetables on campus, lindsey would not fare well.

UB in still-frame continued

The library, very nice. Lots of comfy couches.

The science block is a red brick series of courtyards and it is gorgeous.



This is what the ENTIRE CAMPUS looked like after friday night parties. The cleaning crew had it all picked up by 10am, however.

(By the way, the last picture is of a meal from the cafeteria. I'd say it's a "typical meal" except it is the exact same thing they serve for lunch every single day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner do not appear to change day to day. Every meal includes large amounts of beef and a serving of "juice" that tastes like a melted popsicle. The suspicious gray goo in the middle is pap, and it is the best part of the meal. It is basically grits mixed with whatever and I love it)

In case you were curious

On the off chance that you were wondering what UB looks like...


The majority of the buildings are single-story white and red as you can see in the first picture. They are each numbered but the buildings are not numbered in any particular order and thus building 239 is in no way helpful in finding one's class in building 240. (PS the campus is HUGE)

A funny thing happened on the way to the kgotle....

wow, internet two days in a row, seriously a record! several cool updates: first, we are going to mochudi (a village outside of gaborone) tomorrow in order to see the final part of an initiation ceremony. This is a coming-of-age ceremony for young men in Botswana that involves a month of survival classes etc. All I knew at first was that it involved circumcisian so I was a little surprised that we were invited to watch but that part is not actually being performed tomorrow, rather just a very large party is being held. We are also going to see a football game (read: soccer) tomorrow; I hope I survive the experience, The Batswana are a little intense. Speaking of surviving the experience, today there was a man in a suit with a megaphone asking every student to "just cooperate" and come out of the dorms for a minute. He then started speaking in rapid Setswana. I have a deep-seated fear of megaphone-armed officials as I am convinced they will herald my eventual demise but I guess this guy was just from security asking students to report suspicious characters or thieves (we are in Africa, could they not find a less coup-oriented way to make such an announcement?) Finally, I have officially found the scariest and most depressing building in Gaborone: the US embassy which is conveniently located next door to the Libyan embassy (I wonder if they doorbell ditch each other, I would)

P.S.

By the way, sorry that these posts are so incredibly long but I only am getting internet every third day or so. I therefore have to save up all of my stories for when the technology gods decide to bless me.

fun facts about botswana

As I have officially been in Botswana for more than a week, I consider myself to be an expert on all things Botswana and so I decided to share some fun factoids I have gathered during my time here:
First, apparently in Africa when one specifies a time for some function, that is only a very vague suggestion and it really means show up at your conveniencce some hours later. As a result, people walk very liesurely here. Some people back at home have perhaps suggested that I walk slightly faster than is normal; I have recently been informed that apparently the reason people stare at me here is not just because I am white but really because they want to know where the hell I am going in such a god-aweful hurry......oh
Second, the bathrooms here are not stocked with toilet paper or soap, one is expected to bring one's own supply. They do, however, hire a woman to wax the tile floors in the dorm EVERY SINGLE DAY; fyi, flip flops have no traction on a waxed floor and a fallen white girl is an infinite source of amusement for the locals.
Third, local girls do not go to the student bar on campus and if you show up with five other white girls to get a couple of beers to go you will instantly have five new male best friends who will buy you a beer and want you to take them back with you to the states in december.

In other news, I think I was proposed to today but it was kinda hard to tell over the noise of the washing machines in the background. I politely explained, however, that I promised my mother that I would not get married in Botswana. (he offered to go back to the states for the wedding, considerate of him). I also was informed by a fellow exchange student, after joking that I was totally chill and laid-back, that I have a "triple A" personality, but that it is delightful (Thanks, I guess?). Finally, I attempted to spread the neighborly word today and it was met with incredulity and slight alarm by my fellow students. Oh, and I recently fought off a rabid panda with my trusty pocket knife. Peace out home-skillets

Pictures

Disclaimer: the locations of the pictures and my labels will probably change when I hit post, deal with it and use your imagination!

Left: the lengths I go to in order to charge my computer





Below: Sharon, one of the most awesome UB students ever, not to be confused with Susan (the name she is referred to when one has had six too many beers)

Left: the monument for the three Chiefs who convinced Great Britain not to sell Bechuanaland to the company of Cecil Rhodes. Fun Fact: the statues were made in North Korea

Below: me on top of Kgale hill

Below: View of Gaborone from Kgale Hill

one more thought

As I was posting my last rant, I answered a knock at the door. It was a security officer handing out a paper warning female students about attacks around the dorms. The officer said "ma'am, you should not have opened the door to me without confirming my identity" Is that not technically entrapment? -don't worry mom, I have learned my lesson.

Dada

I have decided that the university of Botswana embodies the spirit of dada art. This morning I wanted tea but I had no sugar or a kettle in my room so I went to buy it at a cafe. I walked to the only cafe I knew of but was told they were closed (at 10am on a tuesday, mind you) and that I should try the cafeteria, which was also closed. So I wandered around, and eventually decided to go to the library and hang out until my class at twelve. When I tried to check my bag at the door (as backpacks are not allowed in the library) I was told that I could not have food in my bag when I checked it (which involves leaving the bag in a cubby) and since I had a granola bar and a water bottle, which I also could not bring into the library, my only option was to throw them away or not enter the library, so instead I sat outside for a few hours while everyone who walked past me stared because I am white and therefore bizarre. I eventually found a cafe that was open and had tea, but they informed me that they were out of cups and therefore could not serve me. While I contemplated carving a cup out of the nearest branch with my trusty pocket knife I was met by my fellow americans who triumphantly showed me their new ID's gained via a three-hour line outside an unmarked office. This place pretty much rocks and should be added to the spiritual exercises of st. ignatius. My battery is almost dead (I still cannot find the right converter) so peace out homeslice (if anyone from Botswana asks, we really talk like that in America)

Quick update, more to come

I shall put chaos into fourteen lines:

Lost a fight with a tree but still got my blackbelt
Was not propositioned by a drunken man on a bus and was upset
Actually used my awesome pocket knife
managed to get a room, lost it temporarily, found it again
nearly eaten by a baboon (okay not really but the book deal is in process)
Propositioned by a smartass bio student, partially molified
spent three hundred bucks on beer, discovered the power of an exchange rate
got a free lunch, twice, still waiting for "the MAN" to catch me
Possibly insulted a zimbabwean man by mentioning joseph conrad, achebe might be right
was short on change at a store; awkwardness ensued
discovered that botswana has better pizza than us
tried to explain where utah was- don't bother
Had a professor walk in to class, inform us she doesn't want to teach right now and reschedule (maybe she is related to nancy?)